hello, it’s been a long time!!!

I’m not doing well, I’m busier than usual, like waaaay busier. I also think I got stressed and I feel like a week went so slow this time (today is THURSDAY? can we just have Saturday for the whole year).

Also, I feel so burdened by people’s expectations of me. every time someone praises or compliments me, I always feel so guilty because I know I am not that good. I’m not what they think I am. But i’m also excited to prove them that I’m THAT great and to those who belittle me i want to make them believe I’m not that bad. and I’m happy because I’m learning a lot here.

i miss my friends so much i couldnt talk with people i usually talk with and im sad but surprisingly my social skill becomes better at pressuring time. i dont know if people read and wonder how im doing these days here but i want to tell anyone who might stumble here.

everything always happen for a reason and please stand up every time you fall down ❤

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This (f)Guy

I said to this guy and my friends that I never have any feeling for him. I kept telling myself that. When in fact, I know I had it. Not as much as for that particular person, but its not nothing.

The only moment I remember that when we had math exam, I sat right in front of the whiteboard, he went behind me and pat my head, said good luck. My face was hot after that and I couldn’t concentrate for several minutes.

Oh another one has popped out. It was when we were at train in rush hour after skating with our classmate. The train was so crowded and he put his arms around my shoulder to protect me from being squeezed. That was sweet. I remembered my heart was fluttered.

That time when he dated my friend, I was kinda jealous and I realized myself I was being a selfish biatch.

In the end, I know I cant give him happiness like he wanted to but he doesn’t know that at least he didn’t try for nothing. I did feel something and I want to thank him for everything he did for me back then. Even though I couldn’t treat him better.

I still wish happiness will shine upon him someday. I really want him to be happy.