r and h

Inspired by one of my friend’s instagram post also recent chat with my boss this afternoon.

Why do some people think they’re above everyone just because they have religion and faith? I get it, you do something the God asked you to do so. But why are you so proud for following His orders and rules? When it’s actually the thing you have to do.

If we looked at the theists and atheists who usually get badmouthed by the religious people, they’re the one who win the sincerity in things. For example, when they’re doing charity, they do it because their heart told them so. Their humanity. The feeling of “every people have the same degree”. Not because of the rule of religions or God. They do it for everyone, every human being, every living being, not limited to one group only. Because they’re human. We are all the same.

But why, why some religious people feel so overproud and attack people who help another from different religions? Why is it matter? Did you lose your humanity in your progress to be close to the God? Do you forget God mention numerous times that humans are the SAME in His eyes? It’s sad if you have to limit your kindness to a specific group. And it’s ironic if you think you already obey your God by doing so. Yes, you get the reward from God for helping people, but abandoning some people just because they didn’t worship the same God with you? It’s ridiculous.

Also please stop thinking you’re better than the other just because you believe in the right religion. Every people think their God and religion is right. There’s nothing wrong for believing in it since it’s your religion so it’s normal if you think like that. But dismiss the other’s belief and pain because their religion is different with yours wont make people like your religion, darling.



hi, i’m supposed to do my translation job but here i am.

i have so many thoughts i have to let out here, that’s why.

i feel so overwhelmed recently. i got scolded, i got praised. also, people’s expectations….are starting to tiring me out.

i’m so happy when i got praised but at the same time, i feel so guilty and undeserved. and the burden. i cant disappoint them. i cant make mistake next time. i have to prove that im going to be better.

i want to cry at the number of responsibilities that lay in front of me. but at the same time, i feel proud of myself and so touched with their trust.

tbh i nearly breakdown at the office that day when my supervisors told me what is my task in the next two months. its going to be very hard and i dont think i can do it. i know im going to screw everything up. also they might tell me i disappoint them.

this is a very negative post, i’m sorry. i’m just so so so tired and i dont want to tell anybody about this. i whined and went to rant to my bffs but i dont want to disturb them any further.

i hope im strong enough to pass this and i hope i could fill their expectations.

i will work harder.

also, i want to cry. i really want to cry.


sometimes i wish i could see myself in another person’s eyes. i hope i can see myself in them when they praised me, so i could see if i really deserve the praise or if they were just saying it to cheer me up. when people said that the true enemy is yourself, it’s true. loving and accepting yourself is so hard. i thought i finally know how to love myself but i realized i hate myself more than anyone.

to the tiny spotter

hi, how’s life been treating you? is it alright on your side?

i know we never talk with each other for months since our last encounter. we dont have any plan to stay in contact neither but i just sad when i know you canceled the mutuals. im not obsessed with the number but im just sad because i thought we were friends even though we barely talk.

this sounds so annoying, but are you the one behind this? i mean, is this really your decision? was i annoyed you that much?

if it is, then i apologize for bothering you. sorry for finding your account and decided to follow you right away because i thought thats the right thing to do since we know each other and talked often. but if you think the other way, ok then.

i hope you always be happy, though. really, really happy, inside and out, not just another mask you put for a show.


im sure you still visit this site or that pretty and lovely girlfriend of yours, thats why i wrote this. and the reason why i posted this crappy post? because i cant talk to you of course and i know im going to make things more dramatic but guess what? im tired of keeping my mouth shut for this thing. just please make things clear from the start because we are both adults.