Double b doubleyou

hello! i know i’ve been saying i’m gonna write a happy post soon but i keep writing gloomy ones a lot so here it is!

i joined that event again this year. i thought i wont because i really want to be office worker but it seems God listened to me when i said i wont be an office worker since my application never went through (i know it will one day!). And God may have another plan for me because i could get into this event smoothly, unlike my friend who was being “kicked” from the shift she wanted and had to move shift.

to be honest, i was so scared because i’m not social person; i hate adapting and i’m afraid of strangers. so it was so challenging for me not having anyone i can talk to. some of my friends joined again but we were on different section and i barely met them. the first day went well, my team was nice and the work went well. it was better than what i expected. but the second day………..it was hell. i nearly cried and i missed my last year friends so much. i got scolded, got new members who were so lazy and when i tried to talk to them “”nicely”” (lol i know i cant talk nicely to people im upset with), they seemed scared of me and didn’t understand what i mean, so i had to do their work. i know i shouldnt but i was so so upset its better for me to work on anything than getting mad at them. it was my fault after all for being all nicey and not talking much to people i just know.

third day went okay and after that the preview day! it wasnt as busy and chaotic as last year, it turned out better than i thought. and i finally met my teammates! not really talking much to them since it was our first day working together but people were so friendly to me. i helped some people from different section too and they were nice! i wished my mood would stay that good until the end of event. Continue reading “Double b doubleyou”

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a tiny spotter

out of all people, why do i have – and always – fall for someone who doesn’t look at me with the same eyes.

i don’t need people to tell me that there are some of them who like me, who love me, i just want someone i fall for feel the same for me. why is it so hard? and why do i always let myself down for thing like this.

when will i learn to not expecting anything from people i love Continue reading “a tiny spotter”