Excuse

Im afraid of people but im more afraid of my mind. Sometimes, it crosses over black zone and i thank my fear for stopping me going there. I like being alone in my room but there is time when i hate it because my head is so noisy and i become depressed. I like walking around alone and you might thinking that im possesed or something but its just me, listening too deep to my own voices in my head.

Im writing this not to invite you to pitying me, i have to write this or im going to be frustrated. Words are my savior, i confessed a lot of things to them than to my parents or family or friends that i meet everyday. I love stumbling around my friends’ blogs or random people’s because they show their other personality through their writing. You see, people become more honest when they pour their words into sentences, into something that other people can read. So do i. I find my self talk a lot easier through writing.

If you are my friend in real life, maybe you’ll feel im not really talking much. If you are my best friend, you do know im talking too much. But theres time when i prefer to be listener and i think it takes most of the time. I tend to build wall around myself, a high and thick one, which no one ever break in. they cant. Even my parents. My brother. My best friends. My now ex boyfriends. Every one has their territory, so i never force anyone to tell me everything unless they want to. I know how it feels.

I feel like im writing this to excuse myself.

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