I don’t want to expect people doing things for me. I don’t want to depend my happiness on them. It’s not like I don’t trust people. Expectation can be a burden, either for the person you’re expected for, or you who’re expecting. I loathe being burdened and I dislike the image of giving burden to someone. If I’m going to be associated with someone, I want to be the one who give. This kind of logic is frustrating since I cannot ask help to those who aren’t close to me because I am afraid of giving them something to bear, either it is small or big.
But to reach the happiness I always dream of, I know I should get them involved. I cannot be completely happy if I can’t share it with them. For me, my happiness is their happiness as well. Why should I spread my sadness and keep my happiness on my own? Everyone has their blue days so I cant make them getting bluer.
About the happiness, what is it exactly?
For me, happiness is something simple. You don’t have to get grand luxurious thing to happen to you and call it happiness. When you can appreciate and be grateful of things around you, no matter how small it is, that’s happiness. You start making your happiness from scratch.
It’s not always about money, but I agree that it contributes a lot for my happiness. For example, whenever I’m feeling down, I buy myself chocolate and eat it on my own. I feel better and happier. Or buying lipstick because I love it and I feel better when I apply it to my lips. Books too. I feel happy whenever I read good books and find words that would motivate me to be better.
Giving something to people who I love make me happy. I feel happy instantly when I see their eyes light up at the view of chocolate or gift that I gave. The happiness of those around you is important too. You don’t have to give them something extravagant. As long as you sincere with yours, they’ll appreciate it. Believe me, the happiness will following you both.