Where did the courage go?

It’s funny and ironic to think that the older you are, you will be braver. Well, it doesn’t apply to me, though. I’m not really afraid anymore of dark or ghost or anything that I used to be scared of when I was a kid. Yet the things that make me afraid right now are scarier than monsters or vampires.

As time goes by, I get more afraid to do things I wanna do. I told myself “If doing this make you happy, then go.”
But I guess I’m more scared of what society gonna respond than how I obtain my happiness.

Few years ago, I didn’t really mind what others think, I did what I wanted, I knew I was stupid but I wish I was still like me in the past. Whenever my friends talk to me about their feeling, that they’re afraid of what people think, I always said “why are they matter so much to you when it’s your life you’re talking about? It’s not like they’re your parents or God, you don’t have to do exactly that they want you to do.” But it’s always easier to say than done.
I don’t want to expect people around me to boost my confidence or to make this feeling disappear.

I know I am toxic for my own self but I’m going to let it poisons me alone than spread it to those around me.

“Fear is something that you create by your own.”

(Sorry, I promise myself that I wont write any depressing things in here anymore but I have to let this one out)

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