This (f)Guy

I said to this guy and my friends that I never have any feeling for him. I kept telling myself that. When in fact, I know I had it. Not as much as for that particular person, but its not nothing.

The only moment I remember that when we had math exam, I sat right in front of the whiteboard, he went behind me and pat my head, said good luck. My face was hot after that and I couldn’t concentrate for several minutes.

Oh another one has popped out. It was when we were at train in rush hour after skating with our classmate. The train was so crowded and he put his arms around my shoulder to protect me from being squeezed. That was sweet. I remembered my heart was fluttered.

That time when he dated my friend, I was kinda jealous and I realized myself I was being a selfish biatch.

In the end, I know I cant give him happiness like he wanted to but he doesn’t know that at least he didn’t try for nothing. I did feel something and I want to thank him for everything he did for me back then. Even though I couldn’t treat him better.

I still wish happiness will shine upon him someday. I really want him to be happy.

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