Advice for the Younger Me

Inspired by today’s ask.fm question. It’s pretty useless and it’s look like I can’t let go my past and regretting them (which is half true) but for me this question is interesting. I need this question.

So looking back, I know what I’m gonna say.

Dear the younger me in junior high school…
Okay, the thing is, you now in junior high school with different people from various background and attitude so try to fit yourself in them. Don’t force it, because in the end you will find them who will be with you till the end. You might go into some stupid fight with some of the upperclassmen but you’ll getting closer with 3 of them in the end. Don’t make a stupid promise such as not going to know the boys because its okay to be friends with them! Some rules are mean to be disobeyed but please do not take it too far. You can be a good student while breaking some rules. Go swimming, writing, practicing your speaking skill in public. Please do it. Improve your language skill because it won’t be a waste. Go out of your room, your comfort zone. Talk and listen to your juniors, smile to them, don’t let them said that you have a scary face. Appreciate your friends. Write a lot. Like, a lot. Your diaries will be your treasure, your oasis, when you miss this time.
Then when you fall in love, you will fall hard. It’s not love at first, but you will be with him anyway. Do not do anything stupid, keep your mind in the right track. Don’t be spoiled one. Remember you ain’t live in fairy tale like you always dream. Don’t force yourself to write it as your fairy tale. A relationship isn’t something like that, it’s beyond that. In the end, you will never regret to fall in love with him. Continue reading “Advice for the Younger Me”

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This (f)Guy

I said to this guy and my friends that I never have any feeling for him. I kept telling myself that. When in fact, I know I had it. Not as much as for that particular person, but its not nothing.

The only moment I remember that when we had math exam, I sat right in front of the whiteboard, he went behind me and pat my head, said good luck. My face was hot after that and I couldn’t concentrate for several minutes.

Oh another one has popped out. It was when we were at train in rush hour after skating with our classmate. The train was so crowded and he put his arms around my shoulder to protect me from being squeezed. That was sweet. I remembered my heart was fluttered.

That time when he dated my friend, I was kinda jealous and I realized myself I was being a selfish biatch.

In the end, I know I cant give him happiness like he wanted to but he doesn’t know that at least he didn’t try for nothing. I did feel something and I want to thank him for everything he did for me back then. Even though I couldn’t treat him better.

I still wish happiness will shine upon him someday. I really want him to be happy.

Young Marriage

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Two of my best friends eloped their lives last month and I couldn’t get any happier than that. They’re finally meet their “the one”, sooner than I expected. Truthfully, I was so emotional when I read the invitation because man, I can say that I basically grew up with them, especially with Hana. She was one of my first friend I made back in middle school and the only one who stick with me since 7th grade till graduate. She was the only one who remember my birthday back in 8th grade when my other friends didn’t even know mine. I was pulling myself out from others when she was the opposite of me.

We exchanged diaries and I read it last week. They changed so much and I don’t know if I should be happy or sad. They grew up to be wonderful and religious women, unlike me. At least they still remember me.

You know, talking about marriage is a thing between girls (or women) in their 20s. So do my friends. I am bored with this topic but what can you do when entire world basically screaming this one at you? Your friends getting married, your friends get boyfriends, your friends graduated and get jobs. All of them lead to the most anticipated topic: marriage.

To be honest, I still don’t know about this. Continue reading “Young Marriage”